When self is at the center of any of our lives it leads to areas, we are blind to in our character. We can see this displayed in a lack of ownership for sinful actions or responses (not seeing them, or not seeing it as sinful), or justify why we acted or responded sinfully.
One way that we see this presented regularly is through “self-pity.” This is a fairly prevalent form of pride that surfaces regularly in our culture as a whole right now. Garrett Higbee in his March 2020 article, “Because pride often results in a victim mentality, we feel justified and seek support for a skewed narrative.”
Because pride often results in a victim mentality, we feel justified and seek support for a skewed narrative.
Garrett Higbee
While we want to provide hope to all that feel affliction, care must be taken to walk a person through what is their heart desire(s) that is motivating their response. This will require a confrontation with the “self.”
“Self” cannot be removed from the center until the person becomes aware that it is there. One way as a counselor to help bring this to light is to point them towards examples of others that operate with “self” at the center. One such example is that of Elijah in 1 Kings 19.
In this story Elijah comes of a literal mountain top experience with God. Yet, there is a problem, Jezebel and Ahab did not respond in a fashion that indicated they understood what had just happened. In response to this Elijah becomes afraid and runs away.
This story of Elijah is one that a counselor can use with a counselee to help them think through what might be going on in Elijah’s heart. You can invite the counselee to engage with this story by asking: “Why do you believe Elijah was afraid?” Or, “Elijah felt like giving up, have you ever felt like giving up and what were the reasons why you would want to give up?”
But as you work with a counselee you do want to point them towards the hope that is given in God’s Word. Even in this story of Elijah, God redirects Elijah’s attention to see what God is doing. Invite them into the conversation with the narrative: “Do you see any similarities in Elijah’s response and how you are responding to the situation/circumstance you are currently in?”, “In what ways? In what ways is it different?” By walking a counselee through this passage then asking them to compare and contrast it with their life, they can come face to face with “self.”
As the counselor we too, need to be aware of “self” at the center of our own lives. So, how do we as counselors identify and root out prideful areas in our own lives?
~ Pastor Broc Buytaert ~
Resources
Tri-State Coalition of Biblical Counseling 
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